


In My Heart, In My Head

by itsdetectivedeckard



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Actor!Bellamy, Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Writer!Clarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 23:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6260683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsdetectivedeckard/pseuds/itsdetectivedeckard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke's last book was going to become a movie. She didn't know what to think when it's director, Miller, gave the main role to Bellamy Blake.</p><p>Miller/Monty and Raven/Wick are very secondary.</p><p>The title comes from "Atlantis", by Seafret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In My Heart, In My Head

" _Good night, America, and welcome to another one of Jaha's Tonight Show at CBS!_ "

Thelonious Jaha announced, as the live audience went nuts by his words. He was wearing a dark blue suit, standing at the center of the TV show stage. Five cameras surrounded the studio, following him as he walked to his table.

"Tonight, we're going to have a little chat with the famous and beautiful writer, known by her inomerous sucesses, as _The Hundred_ and _Grounders_ , Clarke Griffin!"

Clarke arrived a bit shy, wavering to the people there and to the cameras. She had a cute green dress, and the blonde hair fell on her left sholder. She smiled as she sat beside him.

"Hello, Thelonious. It's a pleasure to be here."

"It's our pleasure, my dear." - he answered, staring at one of the cameras. He was a pretty good at show business, she must say. - "So, Clarke. I have here with me your brand new work, _Mount Weather's Way of Life_ , and I'm still reading, so, no spoilers, guys." - he, once again, looked at the audience. - "What's this book about?"

"It's a simple and at the same time epic journey of Robert Morley, a college teacher strugling to find meaning to his life. He teaches at this fictional university, Mount Weather, and there he meets all kinds of people. I think if I say anything more, it would kill the fun of reading it. But you should really read it! My gramma loved it."

She completed, laughing a little.

"Wonderful, wonderful! Aren't us all trying to find our life's meaning?"

"I guess we are, yes."

"And a little bird told me…" - he paused, looking at the audience and right back at her. - "A big studio wants to make it into a movie! It would be your first one, right?"

"Yes, it would. I received a really good propose and they want me to accompany the whole process. It'd be an amazing experience, for sure."

"Are they giving you control of the script? I think none of us want to have another good book ruined by its movie." - the live viewers laughed, as Jaha expected them to.

"Well, not entirely, but I can make some changes. However, the director, Nathan Miller, is a very capable professional. He made an incredible work with another books adaptations. I'm trusting it'll be good."

"Right, now that we're talking about Miller's direction, how do you feel about the actor Bellamy Blake? He is the main option for Robert's role, isn't he? After leading three Miller's movies, we kind of expect him being a part of this one."

"I actually don't know him, to be honest. I saw all of Miller's movies, to get to know his style, and Blake's acting skills seemed apropriate. And, well, if Burton can have Depp and Scorcese, DiCaprio, I guess Nathan can have a favorite, too."

"Let's talk about your team. You won't be alone there, will you?"

"No, sure not. One of my few demands was having two of my editors participating at the script creation. Raven and Monty are amazing, this movie has everything to be a hit. I just hope my bad writing don't get in the way."

"Talented and humble." 

He finished, moving his stuff around the table. He asked a few more questions about her personal life and she told some of her stories. Then, the time of her interview came to an ending.

"Ok, everyone, I talked to Clarke Griffin." - and he stopped, waiting for the audience reaction. They cried a loud "Awwww", that was supposed to mean they liked the interview and didn't want it to end. "Yeah, I liked it too. Keep following the news for the movie adaptation of _Mount Weather's Way Of Life_! Any last saying, Clarke?"

"Well, follow me on twitter for news and personal thoughts! Its @clarkegriffinforreal."

"We'll come back after the comercials!"

…

"Dibs on this Bellamy Blake."

Clarke heard Raven saying and she turned her attention to the movie her friend was watching. It was one of Miller's, from almost five years ago. It had a low budget, but it was insanely well written and directed. Clarke loved the simplicity of a true love story between two friends (and boys), who knowed each other forever and fell in love as life went by. Bellamy Blake was one of the guys, and the thought of him making a gay character, being straight himself, made her like him a little.

"Why are you calling dibs on him, Rave?"

"It's obvious, girl. He's hot. And single. So, I'm calling it first."

Clarke giggled, amused. She met Raven on highshool, after what they called "The Collins Incident". Finn Collins was this jerk who tried to date both of them at the same time, making they hate each other in the process. But, after realizing who was the real asshole, they became really good friends. After graduation, Raven went to work at a prestigious book publisher and kind of forced Clarke to post there one of her manuscripts. That's when she became a writer. So, even if Raven was her editor, she was her best friend first, the cause of her life motivation so far.

"You don't have to. One, I'm not interested. Two, it's impossible to compete with you."

"Don't be like that. Look at his freckles. It's freaking beautiful."

She couldn't argue with that.

"And Lexa's was ages ago. You have to start seeing someone at one point."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Talking about romantic disapointments, where is Monty? He was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago!"

"That's mean, Reyes."

A male voice called, entering the living room of Clarke's apartment. He was carrying their dinner, bought at some fast food company.

"My romantic life is not a disapointment."

"It is, man. What is wrong with my friends, really?"

"There's nothing wrong with us, okay? We are just waiting for the right guys. Right, Monty?"

"Right."

Raven turned off the TV, standing in front of them. Once at Clarke's kitchen, they sat and started talking about their movie while having dinner.

…

"Fuck this book."

"You don't have to be rude, Bell. And stop crying. It's weird."

"I can't. Fuck. What the fuck is wrong with these people? They should listen to Robert, for god sake."

"Don't spoiler it, you idiot! I haven't read it yet!"

"Your brother is making a movie of it and you haven't read it yet? O, you're failing as a sister."

"I'm certainly not. I put up with you for twenty years. I have credit."

They were both at their living room, wearing cute pajamas. Octavia was using her notebook, placed on her lap, with little yellow ducks spread all over her clothes, while Bellamy lied down, reading the book and crying in the process.

"Maybe you're right."

They hear a knock on the door and Bellamy said, not moving a muscle.

"Just come in, Miller."

The boy came inside, silent.

"My brother is a pain, Nathan, but you know us for almost fifteen years now. You have a key."

"Don't start it, O. He's an idiot."

"I am not an idiot, Bellamy." - he said, crossing the living room and sitting at the third couch. - "I brought you my first planning for this movie. Want to see it?"

He closed the book, putting it down at the coffee table. He was done feeling for tonight. He sat, watching Miller's eyes following his moviments.

"Let me."

…

"Yes, mom, I will be home for the holidays. We've already talked about that. I'm at the studio right now, we'll discuss the inicial script for the movie. Yeah, I know. I'll talk to you later. Love you. Bye."

Clarke finished the call, after losing almost half an hour arguing with her for silly reasons. She turned around to keep walking with Raven and Monty, but they weren't there anymore. They left her, lost at Century Fox. They'd gonna hear about it later. She wondered without any destination, hoping to find someone she knew and she spotted Bellamy Blake at distance. She thought it would be a good oportunity to get to know him as well.

"Bellamy Blake?"

He turned his attention to her, putting his phone in his pocket. He looked confused and answered.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you a fan?"

He asked, gently. He had a cute smile showing, like he really cared about his fans aproaching him. She was a little shocked he didn't recognize her, but it was fair. She didn't put a picture of her on her books and he could simply not watch TV. She decided to get his true opinion about her story.

"Yeah, you can say that. You're filming Griffin's new book, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. Sorry, I didn't get your name."

"Uh… Raven. So, _Mount Weather's Way of Life_. Kind of boring, isn't it? Did you read it?"

"Yes, I did. I had to know Robert to play him right, I think. Miller doesn't usually change the characters essence. And I wish it was boring."

"What do you mean?"

He laughed softly, staring at her.

"It's a bad, bad book. It made me cry like a little child. Fuck feeling things."

Ok, now she was starting to really like him. He was being honest about his emotions and, crap, Raven was right. His freckles were beautiful.

"Actually, I have to go to this meeting with the other actors. Do you want a photo, a signature? I'm kind of late."

"A photo would be nice." - she answered, picking her phone up. They took a selfie and that would go to her Instagram for sure. - "Can you tell me where Miller's meeting the writers? I have to deliver something for... Clarke." - she almost forgot he didn't know who she was.

"Sure. Go until the end of this hall and then turn left. You'll see them there."

"Thank you. Have a nice day."

"You too."

…

"I just met Bellamy"

Raven and Monty stopped talking, turning their looks to her. They were sitting at a coffee shop at the studio, getting the details done about their contribution to the first scene script before the meeting with the rest of the staff. Clarke arrived without announcement, standing still across them.

"And you two are awful friends."

"You started to fight with your mom, Clarke. We know how much time that takes. Sit down."

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I thought you needed to talk to your mom alone."

Monty was so much more gentle than Raven.

"Anyway, Blake." she said, sitting down. "He is freaking adorable."

"I'd guessed it. He sounded dreamy on his interviews. But Monty here has other interests."

Raven played, smirking.

"What? Tell me, tell me!"

"Our friend has a huge crush on the director."

"Really?"

"Shut up. Both of you."

Monty turned his attention to the notebook, hiding his expression.

"Is Miller gay? I didn't know." - Clarke asked, curiously.

"We don't know, to be honest, but Monty liked him. And we're supporting it."

"We are totally supporting it. Team Minty."

Monty smiled, shy.

…

"So, this is Jasper Jordan. He's playing Luke."

Miller was explaining, walking around the set and being followed by Clarke. He mentioned she could tell him if she was against any one of the actors, but she was not going to say anything. If the story was respected, she wouldn't interfeer.

"And that is Bellamy Blake. But I guess you know who he is. Blake!" - He yelled to get his attention. - "Meet Clarke Griffin."

"Hi…" - he hesitated, smirking. - "Clarke, huh? Not Raven?"

"Sorry about that. I wanted to know your true opinion about my book."

"Thank god I liked it, then."

"Yep, you're good."

Miller observed, a little lost.

"Miller!"

The three of them heard someone shouting, turning to face the origin of it. They saw a guy, dressed nicely, big square glasses, approaching with heavy steps. At his back, Clarke saw Raven, looking like she could kill a man. Maybe him.

"What is it, Wick?" - He said, calm.

"I can't work with this girl."

Wick pointed at Raven, who rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms, standing still.

"You could, if you weren't trying to change the story."

"It's called _adaptation_ , not _transcription_. It's a different public." - Now he was facing her, wearing a pissed expression. He looked at Miller and completed. - "That's what happens when you let book editors work with us."

"Wick, calm down." - Bellamy was the one talking right now. - "What are you trying to change?"

"Oh, nothing, really." - Raven rushed, being clearly sarcastic. - "He just wants to change Robert's freaking name."

"It's not that and you know it." - He sighed and faced Clarke. - "I read all of your books. They're awesome, don't take me wrong. But I don't think everyone, especially Rebecca, would call him Robert all the time."

"It's part of the metaphor, dumbass." - Raven lost her pacience a few decades ago.

"The metaphor is subtle, it doesn't need this."

"And what do you want to do?" - Clarke said, for the first time. All of them faced her.

"I want the intimate people on his life calling him Bob."

Clarke thought about it for a moment.

"Okay."

Wick celebrated, moving one of his arms. Raven shot her a incredulous look.

"I mean, they are the movie experts, Rave. It's not such a big change. And Bob is cute. It matches Bellamy's figure."

He smiled, looking at her. Now, everyone was smirking and Clarke's cheek got a little red.

"It's… Not what I meant."

"No, we got it." - It was Bellamy this time, laughing a bit. - "You think I'm cute."

"I do not."

"Anyway." - Miller interrupted. - "Your problem's solved, right? No more silly fights, Wick."

"Fine. Clarke's cool. I'll put up with the editor." - He gave Clarke a thumbs up and started to go back to where he came from.

"I have a name, you buttface." - Raven complained, following him.

Miller kept looking at the duo, finding it funny to watch. Bellamy was still staring at Clarke and she showed him her tongue.

"Very mature."

"Bite me, Blake."

"Just tell me where."

She snorted, slapping his arm lightly. He giggled.

…

Clarke was not planning to get involved with Bellamy. She really wasn't. But, as the days went by, and the movie began being recorded, she decided to accompany the whole creation thing. It was fun, to be honest. She was treated very gently on set and the actors always asked her for advices about their characters. Jasper got along pretty well with Monty as he explained him about Luke's inner emotions and Raven finally did the same with Wick. They still argued occasionally, but they didn't want to kill each other anymore. That was progress.

Yet, Bellamy Blake was the most present in her life at that moment.

He began by questioning her about some of Robert's struggles, that, as he said, would help him in front of the cameras. But that was only the beggining. At lunch, he'd choose to sit with her every day, updating her about some of Miller's changes. They talked about their own lifes as well and she found out he had a little sister, Octavia, who was now at a college he was paying for. His mother died when they were young and he'd used all his earnings to sustain her. Clarke told him about how she met Raven and Monty, about her family and why she started to write.

After one month, he asked about her romantic life. She told him about Lexa and Finn, the only experiences she had with true love, and she thought he seemed way too happy when she told him she was single.

"Why are you asking me this, Bellamy? Are you interested?" - She kidded, putting some salad on her mouth.

"Maybe."

He showed his teeth, joking.

"And your love life? Tell me."

"I was engaged, as a matter of fact."

She almost chocked with the lettuce.

"What?"

"Yeah, I know. But she left me two years ago. It was hard. I really thought she was the one."

"I guess the one is still out there, huh."

"I hope so."

They shared a shy smile for some moment in silence. The set bell rang, announcing that they should come back to work. He grabbed his stuff and got up.

"See you at Mount Weather."

"You're such a dork, Blake."

"And you can't resist me."

He turned his back at her, walking away.

"Maybe" 

She murmured to herself.

…

Two weeks passed after their love life conversation. He kept showing for lunch, but they never mentioned it again. Clark was a little disapointed, but she wouldn't admit it. 

Now, Miller was shooting the scene when Robert meets Rebecca, the girl he'd marry at the middle of the story and spent the remaining of his days with. Her book was not romantic, at its core. But it mentioned love as a important emotion, conecting it to other events of Robert's life. Rebecca was played by Roma, a pretty and tall actress, very popular. After a few takes, Miller called a break before going to their next interation.

Clarked was watching it from far away and, as she was standing up to talk to Bellamy, Roma crossed her path and got to him first. She went to the snacks table, near enough for her to hear them.

"So, Bellamy, I'm finally being filmed." 

She laughed softly, leaning very, _too much_ , close to him.

"Yeah. Finally. How are you feeling about it?"

"Good. I was getting bored at home. I never wanted to work so badly. And, you know, to work with you."

"It's a honour, I think."

"It's been, what, three years we worked together last time?"

"Two years and a half, maybe."

"I heard Gina left you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was for the best."

She looked down, smiling without showing any tooth. 

"Well, I was thinking if you wanted to take a coffee sometime. To talk, I don't know."

He looked at her and, at the next second, he stared at Clarke's. She turned her head, caused by the surprise of his action. She waited a little to face them again and he had his face down, but his eyes were still pointed at her direction.

"I'm sorry, Roma. I think we shouldn't mix things up. Maybe after we finish the movie."

"Oh, okay."

Miller shouted to everyone, calling them to the cameras.

They restarted recording.

…

"Do you know a band called _Seafret_?"

Bellamy asked Clarke, as they walked side by side with coffee cups at hand. They arrived at the same time in the morning (it happened ocasionally) and bought the coffee at a stand nearby.

"I do. It's very good. Why?"

"Miller talked about it yesteday for almost an hour."

"Actually, Monty told me about it." - She snapped, understanting it all. - "Oh, I see what's going on."

Bellamy realized where Miller got the information about the band and why he was so excited about it.

"Should we be concerned?"

"They're adults, right? And I kind of said to Monty I supported it."

"I hope it goes well. They'd be cute together."

"They would!"

She agreed, enthusiastic. They arrived at the set and found Monty talking with Miller about the last script. They giggled. They were cute.

"So, Raven, what are you doing?"

Wick asked, across the set. Raven was reading what would happen on the scene, since Monty was the one responsible for this.

"I'm reading the script, what does it seem I'm doing?"

He snorted, amused by her way of talking to him.

"It's just I think you should be doing more important things."

"Like what?"

"Me."

She pulled him by his arm, away from everyone's sight. 

"Shhh, you moron!"

He got her close, kissing her. She kissed him back and backed off after a few seconds.

"It's hard to restrain myself, you know. Have you ever seen yourself at the mirror?"

"Shut up, movie writer."

She kissed him again, even more quickly now.

"How did we go from wanting to kill each other to this?"

"Angry sex. It's the best."

She whispered, getting away from him. She went back to the set and Wick murmured.

"It is."

…

Clarke was alone at home, writing a few ideias of her next book. She was thinking maybe fantasy. Or science fiction? It didn't matter, to be fair. She would always focus on the human factor, the daily struggle of living and getting different experiences. She'd just finished a paragraph when she heard a knock on the door. It was 9 p.m. and she wasn't expecting visitors.

"Who is it?"

"It's Bellamy. I need your help."

She opened it and only remembered she was wearing her pajamas until it was too late. Her hair was messy and the clothes were a bit loose and too orange. He, on the other hand, was still dressing his work clothes, a nice blue shirt and black jeans, the only difference being his reading glasses.

"Cute."

He mentioned and she rolled her eyes. He entered, waiting for her to sit and, then, he followed.

"What's the problem?"

"It's tomorrow's scene. Bob's confession and kissing Rebecca. I can't look natural doing it. My sister said she would kick the ass of the guy who confessed to her with the expression I was showing."

Oh, that would be tough. She was not ready for that.

"Okay, what do you think the problem is? Roma?"

"I don't think so. It's the character deepness. I can't show the emotions."

"What do you mean, Bellamy? Weren't you engaged?"

"Yeah, but Robert's feelings are more complex than that. I had a sincere love, but he has something else. He has…" - he raised his hands, trying to find the words. - "Explosions, you know? His love is true and messy at the same time. It has reaction. Burning. Passion."

He finished, staring at her blue eyes, directly. A few seconds passed before he realized he stared too much and moved his look away.

"Sorry. It's non sense." - He seemed embarassed.

"It's not. And I would know it, I wrote him."

He laughed, more calm.

"Okay, let's practice. Say your line and I'll help you."

"Fine, here it goes." - He stood up, grabbing his copy of the script from his pocket. - " _Rebecca, stop it! You can't just run away from everyone who loves you!_ " - he paused, waiting for her reaction. Clarke read Roma's line ("What do you mean, loves me?") and he continued. - " _I love you. That's what I meant._ "

Poor Bellamy, he did look weird.

"I think you're not picturing it right."

"Maybe I should think of someone?"

"Do you have someone to think for this kind of scene?"

"I guess so."

"Okay. Let's do it"

He moved a little, getting ready. Took a deep breath and started again.

" _Rebecca, stop it!" - This time, he did with way more emotion. His eyes were fixed on her and she could swear his freckles were flirting with her. "You can't just run away from everyone who loves you!_ " - He didn't stop this time, walking slowly towards her. He decided to improvise. - " _Yes, that's what you heard. I love you. I was totally lost before you and now I'm home. You're home. And you'll have to accept that._ " - He finished, getting even closer. He hold Clarke in his arms and kissed her, with passion. The blonde crossed her arms on his neck, letting herself being sucked by it. It was for the movie.

"Sorry." - He apologized and let her go. - "I got involved."

"No, it's okay."

There was a awkward silence, interrupted by his phone buzz.

"Octavia, hey. Yeah, I'm coming. Sorry."

He finished the call and looked more embarassed than before.

"I… I have to go."

"Sure, sure. I'll walk you to the door."

She closed it behind him, standing still after it.

Crap.

…

"YOU KISSED HIM?!"

"Calm down, Rave! We're in the middle of the set!"

"Sorry, sorry" - She covered her lips. - "And then? Is he good in bed?"

"How would I know, Raven? Cmon!"

"Why do you seem upset about it? It's a good thing!"

"Is it? We were rehearsing today's scene and it could've been meaningless. Besides, he doesn't want to get involved with someone from work."

"You told me about that and I'm still convinced he just didn't want to go out with Roma."

"I don't know, I don't know." - She put her arms over her head. - "What should I do?"

"What he did." - she nodded, facing Monty talking to Miller. They were closer than usual, laughing together. - "Grow some metaphoric balls."

…

Clarke was standing at Bellamy's door. The last week was a nightmare. She could not focus at all and Bellamy appeared to be avoiding her. She couldn't handle it anymore. So, there she was, knocking at his door at 11 p.m. and freezing in the process.

"Yes?"

A young and gorgeous black haired girl opened the door, rubbing her eyes. She was wearing a really cute yellow ducks pajamas.

"Octavia?"

"Yeah, who are you?"

His sister. Thank god.

"I'm Clarke Griffin. I'm looking for your brother, is he home?"

"He didn't arrive yet. But you can wait for him. Come in."

She entered, analysing every little detail about his house. She wouldn't miss the oportunity. They had a nice apartment, nothing too big. She thought they might liked simplicity, because Bellamy could afford something bigger. Octavia showed her the living room, asking her to sit on the couch.

"You're Clarke, huh? Bellamy talks about you a lot."

"Really?"

"Almost non stop."

She smiled without realizing it. They chatted for nearly half an hour, mostly Clarke begging for childhood stories. Then, Bellamy opened the door, with a disturbed look on his face.

"Well, he's here. Good night, Clarke. Don't stay up too late, Bell."

Octavia left, leaving the two of them alone.

"Hey, Clarke. What are you doing here?"

He came close, sitting next to her.

"I needed to talk to you. But you don't look fine. What happened?"

He sighed, a little tired.

"Gina wanted to meet. She wanted to get back together"

Her heart stopped for a second.

"And?"

"And I told her no." - He stared, again, directly at her eyes, perhaps trying to find the strenght to continue that conversation. - "She didn't have the right to show up from nowhere and ask me something like that. How could she?"

Clarke hugged him, holding him tight.

"It's okay, Bell."

He giggled lowly, backing off a little.

"I loved you calling me Bell."

"I'll keep doing it, then."

He leaned and kissed her, suddenly. She wanted to kiss him back, but stopped it.

"You're vulnerable. We shouldn't do this."

"You're… You're right." - He went back, passing a hand at his hair. - "Actually, no." - He then stared at her, firmly. - "I fell for you. Hard. And it's weeks ago. Damn, I know I'm being unfair telling you this right now, but it's the truth. And I'm going to freaking kiss you." - He leaned again, yet paused very closely. - "I… I mean, if that's okay to-"

"Just kiss me already, Blake."

And so he did. This time, he let out all of his feelings. He hold her with pure force, almost swallowing her whole. She moved herself to his lap, where she could have everything she wanted.

"Weeks, huh?" - She teased, between kisses. - "We should've done this earlier, then."

"Don't worry." - He guaranteed, taking off his shirt. - "We'll make it up the lost time."

…

The movie was finished three months after Clarke and Bellamy started dating. It was going to be released half an year from that.

Miller and Monty got serious as the movie was finished and someone proposed at some point. Maybe Miller. Certainly Miller.

The crew found out about Raven and Wick when they got caught making out at the set. 

"Great movie." - Bellamy said to Clarke, on their last day of filming.

"You think so? I heard the book author is sleeping with the main actor."

"Luck him." - He kissed her, laughing. - "She is so, so cute."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! If you liked it, please leave a comment!
> 
> English is not my first language, so, sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/itsdetectivedeckard)!


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